Torture
May 21, 2001 - 5:56 p.m.

Well, I haven't updated in awhile, so first things first. I need to sing to Jenny since her birthday was on Friday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JENNY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

Now on to me being my usual whiney, complainy self.

I feel so.. irritated right now. We didn't have math hw where we had to work out of the book for a little over a week, so I got too used to not having to go to my locker and get my book after school. I forgot to get my book today, and it's a new section, and Mr. Paula said he'd be checking hw tomorrow. I'm totally screwed. When Mr. Paula checks hw, it's usually worth more, and my grade in the class is bad enough already.. not to mention the final which I will almost certainly get a bad grade on judging from last semester's final and how much easier that work was than this semester's work. AAAAAHHHH!!!! I'd call Clau and borrow her book, but she didn't go to school today, so she won't have her book with her. I'd call Leslie or Katie, but I hardly talk to them anymore, and I just feel mooching off of people like that is wrong. My mom keeps bugging me about it and considering whether colleges will accept me if I have a D on my transcript and crap when it's just one assignment! She's making my conscience work double time, and I just feel the need to scream.. or cry... or both.

It's so stupid, though. Why should grades matter so much? Why should one little assignment like this mean so much to me? I feel like I'm folding to society's idea of what measures a person. It's not like I won't be able to get a good enough college education to do the job I want to do just cuz I didn't do one little assignment.

Aside from that, my day was... still purdy shitty. There is no aspect of school (except my friends) that I enjoy anymore. Even choir is stessing me out cuz I forgot I was supposed to bring flowers for the concert today so I was all worried if that'll affect my grade or not. I never found out, but I suppose it wouldn't make much of a difference since I have an A in the class.

Ugh, and then there's ASL. We hafta sign about a disaster movie and explain what happened in it. I don't watch disaster movies cuz they scare me (yes, I'm chicken shit), so I have nothing to sign about. I have no motivation when it comes to that class anymore. I hardly learn anything, and then I'm supposed to sign a story every once in awhile. They really shoulda stopped ASL at ASL2 cuz the stuff we learn in this class is so basic, I can hardly pay attention and still get an A. I wish math was that easy.

Is it just me, or does everyone in the world suddenly have a significant other??? Yesterday, Great America was packed with couples, and well, I guess school had the usual amount, but I was noticing it more. I feel so lonely. And there are hardly any options. There are a couple guys that I'm attracted to, but none that I have a big ol' crush on or anything. There's just no selection at our school. And what's up with all the hot skater guys going out with the trendy whores in the halter tops? It makes me wanna spew... on them.... on their perfect hair... and their American Eagle designer flip flops that cost 50 times the amount you could get the same quality for at Longs Drugs.

Wow, I was only gonna write about my annoying math fiasco. Oh well, it felt good to vent.

So yesterday we went to Great America. I got sunburned even though I put on sunscreen twice. GRR! It was fun besides that.. oh, and Top Gun. I hate rollercoasters and my friends forced me on one cuz no one wanted to wait with me. It was hell. Pure hell. TORTURE! It went straight down, upside down, and there was a cork screw. Pure and utter torture. Once again, yes I am chicken shit.

Well, I suppose I should go now. My frozen dinner should be ready soon. Thanx for reading my complaints (if you did). Ta! ~BOB

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