Stressed and Emotional
June 13, 2001 - 9:08 p.m.

No, I'm not supersticious at all.

Relationships are so emotionally draining.. especially those of the online variety. When I have free time (and sometimes when I don't), this is where I go to escape, to my computer. It should bring me happiness, but most of the time, when I'm finally feeling relief from all of the stresses of everyday life, I sign on and am immediately brought down to a depressing state. Maybe I care too much, maybe I'm too sensitive, maybe I'm not treated as I should be, maybe I'm gonna eat my words. A relationship that's not not moving to another level for probably at least another couple years shouldn't be having this negative affect on me. I shouldn't be on the verge of tears. I shouldn't feel devoted to someone who lives across the country, who I've never met.

I just want to be happy. When did that become so difficult? When I was younger, happiness came so easily. Now it's a struggle, and it shouldn't be.

Tomorrow's gonna be hell, but it'll be so relaxing at 12:36. I'll go to Blimpie's with my friends, and not have to worry about hw (except goddamn AP English crap) all summer. I'll never have to worry about math again (except in college, but I'll take the easiest math class there is). My most stressful year will be over. All in less than 24 hours. I can't wait.

I think I've wasted enough energy trying to put my feelings into words. I'm gonna end this now. Ta! ~BOB

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