Reflection... Ooooo
July 14, 2002 - 8:57 p.m.

Friday was water day. It wasn't bad, especially since we didn't do the sprinklers. Joe's group ganged up on me and he drenched me, though. That was not cool. He got his at the end of the day though. I hope my shoes are dry by now. I haven't checked. I felt like I was walking in a lake at the time. It took hours for my underwear to dry. Oh well, I was expecting it.. that's just the way water day is, and it was a purdy successful water day. Zachary acted really well since Sara talked to his mom. He's gonna be camper of the day on Monday. I'm sure he'll love that, and it will be very rewarding.

Yesterday my mom and I went to Karen's friend Dianne's bridal shower. Dianne's sister thought I was Karen when she walked in. It was purdy funny. I was the youngest person there, but it wasn't too bad. We played this game where six people were given goodie bags, and if you caught one of those people with their legs crossed, you got their bag. I started with a bag, plus I caught two people (including my mom), so I went home with three prizes. Go me! I'm giving two of them to my mom though cuz I don't have much use for them. One of them is a pack of candles, and my dad thinks they look like nipples. He has the mind of a twelve year old, mind you, but they kinda do.

After the bridal shower, my mom and I went to the Gateway store in Pleasanton and bought me a laptop and printer. We purdy much already knew what laptop we wanted, so it didn't take very long. It won't arrive till the 24th though. I can't wait. I can actually play the Sims. I've missed the Sims in ways you cannot imagine. Ok, maybe not, but I really am looking forward to being able to play with Hot Date without my puter freezing. I figure since I'm not getting any guys, I might as well live vicariously through my Sims :::sigh:::

Since we had so much time left over, we stopped by Stoneridge. I bought a pair of pants at Pacsun, and we bought some candy. It was a fairly successful day as far as shopping goes.

When we got home, Joe came over and we watched Big brother from Thursday, then last night's Big Brother. Entertaining shit, man. I want Josh and Amy out of that house, and I want them out now. After the Big Brother-a-thon, Joe and I went to bay street and got some Jones soda. Good times, good times.

Today was a lazy day. I cleaned my car, and that's about it. That was job enough for me. When you work with kids, you don't take weekends for granted. Relaxation is the name of the game. My parents are at a concert right now, so I have the house to myself. I just finished watching Life as a House so I'm in a big sentimental mood. If there's some kinda weirdness to my typing, that's why. I feel kinda down.. I forgot how many people hook up in that movie, and it made me want a boyfriend really bad. Especially since I was alone while watching it. And it was Hayden Christensen for two hours. I mean, c'mon. Who wouldn't want a guy after that? :::sigh:::

I was thinking about the last school year, and when I look back on it, I actually did a lot of changing. At the beginning of the school year (as is chronicled in this diary), I really just wanted to get through my senior year and move on. I wasn't motivated at all. I just wanted out of Newark. I thought I was ready for college, and I didn't envision any growing. I really do think I've changed since then though. I really needed my senior year no matter how much I didn't think I did at the beginning. I thought I didn't care what other people thought of me before, but during the year I honestly stopped caring a lot more. I realized who I wanted in my life and who I didn't, and I realized that not everybody has to like me. It helped me become more confident, and I think that's a good thing. I mean, I'm not confident to the point of being conceited, but I think I've gained a lot more respect for myself. I've always heard people say that you have to learn to love yourself before you can expect somebody else to love you, so hopefully this year will help me out in the long run. I'm ready for my dream guy, now where the hell is he? hehe. In addition to my inner changes, I've also changed my physical appearance. I started wearing glasses again, I grew out my hair for the first time in years, and I got my eyebrow pierced. These things aren't really a big deal by themselves, but it's really hard for me to find pictures of myself that depict what I look like now. I guess they're kind of a reflection of how I've changed throughout the year on the inside. Or maybe I'm just going out on a limb here :o)

Anyfuck, enough of the serious shit. I am not enjoying my thoughtful mood. Maybe I should listen to some happy-go-lucky music to cheer me up. Damn Life as a House. No, not really. I love that movie, and I love it more every time I watch it.

Hey, if you're online right now, IM me. I'm bored and lonely and I want someone to talk to.

That is all. Ta! ~BOB

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