Candy Doesn't Phase My Pearly Whites
July 24, 2001 - 5:48 p.m.

I just started a really cool entry and my puter did a lil thinking noise, and deleted the paragraph I had written. WTF?? Ok, I'm gonna try to recapture it in all its essence, but no promises.

In the last couple months, as all those who keep up with my diary know, I have been eating extraordinary amounts of candy. It has become an addiction. It has lead to many a canker sore and many a peeling tongue. My mouth hates me, but I keep eating it. I love candy, plain and simple. Today, I paid my dues...

I went to the dentist.

Dun dun dun.

Ok, it wasn't all that bad. But it did come complete with that terrrible drilling noise.. even though the noise was just for that thing they use to brush your teeth the weird way. It also came complete with that disgusting flouride crap. I used what was supposedly bubble gum flavor, but tasted more like a buncha random chemicals combined to have the most god awful after-taste.

The dentist said the usual comments and questions. He acted shocked when he found out I drove there (musta been the third time he's done that). He asked if I had braces. (No, goddammit, my wonderful teeth are naturally straight!) He told me I need to brush better cuz my gums bleed too easily. (Call me crazy, but if any part of your body was poked with a needle-like object, it would start bleeding.. no matter how much you brush it!) Lastly, he told me I have no cavaties. Yay!

The dentist did, however, ask if any of my wisdom teeth bugged me. I said one of them did, and he said something about having it removed. I clearly remember being told that there is room in my mouth for wisdom teeth, and I won't need to have them pulled. I have perfect teeth, goddammit! Don't tell me otherwise! I think he just said that cuz I told him I felt some pain there. I have decided to completely disregard that conversation and pretend it never happened.

All in all, it wasn't that bad of an experience, for being the dentist and all. Yeah, my teeth hurt a tad, but I won't hafta go back for another six months. Now that I've had my teeth cleaned and my canker sore is practically gone, I can eat as much candy as I want!!! Where is Jenny when you need to make a candy run? I wanna grind sugar into my newly cleaned teeth. They feel too.......... clean.

I'm quite done now. Ta! ~BOB

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