46 Days
April 3, 2001 - 6:51 p.m.

Anyfuck, sorry for the lack of entry yesterday. I had a busy day, but it was a GOOD busy day! Yay! It started off kinda icky though. In math, Mr. Paula decided to go around and check hw with Edriss, and made it count for 10 points instead of the usual 4. I didn't have my hw. My eyes actually welled up when he was checking the hw. I'm already doing bad enough in that class.... arg, the stress. It was not pretty. I was very worried all day. However, I was able to do half of the hw last night (a big step up compared to how bad I've been doing), and today in class I really started to understand the stuff. I have hope... there is a light at the end of the tunnel... and all those other sayings that mean I'm on my way to not failing the class. My happiness about the subject was slightly dampered today, though, by my mother. She likes to act as my conscience despite the fact that I already have one. She tends to forget that. So, cuz of my mom and her ability to scare the shit outta me when I WAS FEELING PERFECTLY FINE ABOUT THE SUBJECT, I'm gonna try to focus on math tonight. I don't have hw, but I'm gonna be doing problems that were already assigned. I just hope I can focus. I find it hard to focus on math for any amount of time. That's why I'm online first. I hafta get my addiction out of my system, so I won't be finicky and ready to stop practicing in two mins.

Ugh, it's so hard to focus on what I'm typing when my parents are talking to each other in back of me. They're not talking, either, they're yelling. It's a perfectly normal conversation, yet they feel the need to raise their voices for reasons I will never understand. Oh lord, now my dad's singing opera.

After school and work my mom and I went to bring my car to the shop cuz poor Dixie is having problems. There were dogs there and they liked me.. a lot. They got dog slobber all over my hand. They did today too. Oh well... I like dogs. I like all animals.

When we got home, the phone rang. My mom was all excited cuz we just got caller id. But the phone said unknown. Luckily, I looked at the number and recognized it as Jeremy's number, or I totally woulda missed the call cuz my mom was just gonna not answer it. Apparently, his phone was static-y on Sunday and he didn't wanna call when he couldn't hear me, so he waited till yesterday. We talked for an hour and a half that seemed like five minutes. Weird how that happens. Anycrap, I enjoyed myself thoroughly, and I still seem to be in a good mood cuz of it. Claudia was like, "you're all giddy!" in math today.. hehe. She also used this word Renita uses.. Oogily or something like that. I dunno how it would be spelled, but I can say it just fine :o)

When I finally got the chance to sign on after the phone call, dinner, and hw, I didn't have enough time to write an entry, but I read a few and talked to Zach. Zach was happy, which also made me happy. It was all in all a good today.

Today has been purdy good too.. with the whole sorta-understanding-math thing and all. I think April just may be a good month for me. I'm strangely optimistic, which for me is a big rarity. I haven't been happy in the longest time, and today, for the first time in months, I woke up and looked at the day ahead of me in good spirits.

Today at lunch I tried to buy a sandwich at school. Bad idea. The lines are SO long, they take forever to move AT ALL, and people cut like crazy. The people at my school get on my nerves SO much. One step inside those disgusting bathrooms, and you'll agree with me. Maturity is something that is not found easily at Newark Memorial. Plus, the sandwich was purdy crappy. What a pain. How am I supposed to have a good balanced diet when it's impossible to go anywhere off campus and have more than five minutes to eat after you return, and if you try to find something on campus, it's crap? Except, of course, Taco Bell, which is pre-ordered and stuffed with dairy products that I can't eat. Grrrrrrrrrrrr! There's gotta be some other kinda solution. How does everyone else at my school survive without feeling light-headed? I just don't understand it.

Hey, this was supposed to be an optimistic entry. I suppose it's my natural tendency to focus on the annoying things in life. Oh well.

OOOH!!! Know what I figured out today? 46 more days of school! Hallelujah!!! Two weeks till Spring Break. I need a break BADLY. I can't wait. I especially can't wait till summer though. I getta spend the summer at ash st. with my favorite kids, and then next year I'll be a senior... with three academic classes... only one of which will be hard. I can't wait. Ahhh.. 46 more school days and life will be easy again.

A calf is a fucking cow!!!

I'm gonna go focus (hopefully) on math now. Ta! ~BOB

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