Shy
October 5, 2000 - 3:51:32 PM

I dunno what was making me feel low earlier this morning.. probably the whole Jerry thing, but my negative feelings intensified after I ran the mile. I was 9 seconds short of beating my time. I really don't like having to run the mile right after lunch cuz I get a gas bubble on the side of my stomach. I don't get a treat cuz I didn't improve my mile time three outta the last four weeks. That doesn't really phase me.. I can buy my own coke.. but it does bother me that I did such a crappy job when I felt the worst I've ever felt after running a mile. I was extremely dizzy for 2 hours afterwards (no exaggeration). It just took all the energy outta me. After we ran, I had to do the curl up skill test.. I only did 20 cuz I had no energy. I could probably do at least twice that much under normal circumstances. Oh well... like I care about PE. I'm just pissed that it made me feel so shitty.

Monica was feeling really crappy too. When she runs without eating first, she coughs up blood, and she didn't getta eat at lunch cuz she had to make up a quiz in English. That hasta do with her acid reflex disease. Her mom won't let her have a surgery to get rid of it. Poor Monica. We were moping together in my car on the way home from school.

Speaking of my car, I need to get gas tonight. I really don't feel like it. But Laura said she's gonna need a ride tomorrow and there's no way I could make it to her house with the amount of gas in my tank cuz she lives in The Lake area. Only Newjerk people understand that. Oh well.

Stacha's home. The doctor said we should see how she does without the dialysis before we have her put to sleep. She's been sleeping all day. She cuddled with me a bunch and for awhile I couldn't sit down without her climbing on my lap. She's very affectionate. She walks around kinda stumbly and she hasn't eaten any food. That's not good. When she meows it sounds very sad. Poor Stacha :o(

I still haven't grasped the whole Jerry thing. I don't know what it's gonna take for that to happen, but it will eventually. I feel really bad about how I treated Jeremy when I was involved with Jerry, especially since he was right the whole time. I shoulda just stuck to him. I'll do that from now on unless a Romeo of some type shows up in Newjerk, but what are the chances of that happening? I'm sorry Jeremy. You really deserve better than me.

I'm trying to think of something cheerful to type about, but I can't think of anything. My classes were boring and exhausting today. Teresa cracked me up a lot as usual. She's good at that. Made eye contact with Hot Freshman I think a total of 3 times today. I'm sure that wasn't very good, though, cuz I was all zombied out from the mile. Oh well.

"You think she's an open book, but you don't know which page to turn to, do you?" ~Cake

"Sleep is like a fever and I'm glad when it ends. The road flows like a river and it pulls me around every bend." ~Ani DiFranco

"To me coming from you friend is a four-letter word. End is the only part of the word that I heard coming morbid or absurd, but to me coming from you friend is a four-letter word." ~Cake

"I am not a pretty girl. That is not what I do. I ain't no damsel in distress, and I don't need to be rescued, so put me down punk. Wouldn't you prefer a maiden fair? Isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere?" ~Ani DiFranco

I'm quite finished.. ta! ~BOB

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