On the Bound
August 23, 2000 - 12:05:19

I got a new program (recommended by none other than Jeremy) that allows me to turn waves into mp3's. Now I can send the mp3 I made of me singing yesterday to people. But do I really want to? I was online today for about 3 hours just playing with the new program. It's fun.

I finally got to talk to Russell. I found out he was online by using Paula's lil secret way :o) Then I went on a sn I knew he didn't have blocked to IM him. It was really weird. He said he has too much shit in his life to deal with people bothering him when he's trying to research and not to take it personally. How am I supposed to not take it personally when he deliberately blocked me and not other people? He said, "I never said I was a nice guy." I guess I had the wrong impression then. That hurt a lot. Honestly, I was on the verge of tears for awhile. I thought we were purdy good friends. I give up.

I went rollerblading after that to exercise off the anger and hurt feelings. It was the first time I'd rollerbladed since April. My legs kinda hurt now. Oh well. At least I wasn't bouncing around tonight with energy like last night. Although I would prefer that to what happened. Jeremy's friend Ben said that he thinks Jeremy would like Angie (a girl he liked before me) more than me if he felt the same about him. Jeremy denied it, but he said himself he doesn't know what would really happen. It kinda worries me, but it sounds like Angie's not interested at all. I doubt I have any right to worry when he lives so far away anyway, but I still do. Cuz I still like him. More now than ever. Life really sucks sometimes.

I sang to Sarah McLachlan's Fumbling Towards Ecstasy cd when I got home from rollerblading. That felt good. I always feel better after I sing.. or even just listen to music.. but especially after I sing.

"You're all I need... and maybe some faith would do me good," ~Fiona Apple

I don't want to remember anything. Do you understand me? Nothing.

I have some guys from Idaho IMing me, so I best be going now. Much thanx to Jeremy ;o) Ta! ~BOB

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