You think she's an open book, but you don't know which page to turn to, do you?

Part 1
August 14, 2000 - 11:03:59 PM

I'm so confused. Why does life hafta be so confusing? I don't know what to do about the whole Jeremy thing anymore. It's far from over. That whole entry about it being over was just me trying to convince myself not to like him anymore when I do. I do like him. I do like him as much as I always have. I don't wanna like him, but I do. He said he doesn't like Jenny as much as he likes me, but still............ and there's the whole distance thing... and... arg.. I just wanna scream. This would all be soooo much easier if Boise and Newark were about 700 miles closer to each other. In a perfect world...

I figured out tonight how to get Jeremy's brother to give him the puter hehe. Usually I'd just stare at his sn and be like, "good lord, when's he gonna give him the puter?" Well, tonight I IMed him and just started some friendly chat (mainly cuz I was bored.. I mean I was watching a sitcom on TV besides Friends.. how often does that happen?) and he happened to be playing a game I knew how to play and used to play a few months ago. He asked me to join him. He kicked my butt, then I started kicking his. Then he said Jeremy wanted to play me.. and suddenly the puter was his. Oh yes... kick Ryan's butt in a game and you get Jeremy. Ironic, isn't it though?

Jeremy said reading that entry was what made him realize he likes me more than Jenny. I told him to email me (his brother wanted to go to bed). I'm still really confused. What if Jenny wrote that kinda entry? Would he still feel more for me? Does it really matter? It's gonna be years before we can actually be together. Is all this pain worth it?

Work was fun.. I brought a camera and took lots of pics. I have a few of me with David and Nacho.. and all the other kids I love so much. I can't wait to get the film back. I already took it to Longs to get it developed tonight hehe.

Oh, ok, shower time.. I'll write another entry when I finish my shower cuz all my thoughts aren't done yet. ~BOB

Back To ~ The Future

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Lyrics taken from the song Open Book, by Cake.