My am I Weird
August 12, 2000 - 3:04:05 PM

It's 3 o'clock and I still feel like the day hasn't really started. You know it's a lazy day when you don't put your eyes in until 2:20. I'm supposed to do some hw this weekend. I prolly won't do any till tomorrow night like I did last weekend. I'm not really worried about it at all though. Katie said she's only done one chapter. That makes me feel very accomplished. I know I'll end up doing quite a bit at the end of the summer, but that's to be expected. I know I can handle it, so I'm not gonna dwell on the 4 chapters I have left and beat myself up about not having done them yet.

Sleep did me some good. I feel better than I did last night. I still don't feel like I'm Laura, but I feel ok. Another thing that helped was reading someone else's diary who's just about as screwed up as me. Yeah, so this guy had like 50 diary entries and I've read them all between last night and now. I have no life. He seems like a male version of me, but a tad more social. I think almost all teenagers are more social than me, so that's to be expected. I'm gonna write him some fan mail, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I'm not in an email writing mood. I'm in a diary writing mood.

I find that I'm always in the mood for 80's music anymore. If I feel like crap, or if I feel like I'm on cloud nine (doesn't seem to happen very often anymore) I can always use a good 80's tune.

My tongue is killing me from yesterday. That darn paint thing got me. It knew my bad spot and it got it good. See, I was addicted to Warheads in jr. high. I'd seriously eat like at least 3 packs of em every day after school. My tongue would peal uncontrollably, but it didn't really phase me. It was kinda cool actually. I'd show people tongue pealings and they'd get totally grossed out. That's one of Laura's lil weird ways to get attention. I loved it. Now I can hardly eat a pack of Warheads without my tongue killing me.. much less a whole thing of paint candy!

I'm having a skinny day. A friend of mine who was in two of my classes last year by the name of Anna (who I haven't seen or talked to all summer... stupid anti-social me) said one day that you have skinny days and fat days, and I agreed. Now I realize how right she was. Somedays you feel really skinny... somedays you feel really fat. I feel skinny today. I think it's cuz I'm wearing the skimpiest shorts I have (not really very skimpy at all, I'm just a conservative dresser). I always feel skinny when I wear pants or shorts that have the lil tie stringy waste thingy. If anyone understands what that means, I'd be greatly surprised. It baffles me though. I feel skinny despite the fact that I had about 10 handfuls of mini m&m's (which DO melt in your hands, thankyouverymuch).

Everyone on my buddylist is getting booted and signing back on one by one. Is this a prediction of my future? I have napster open, an mp3 playing, and two webpages up. hmmmmm....

Next week is the last week of work. I'm gonna miss those kids so much. I bought some film last week while I was getting Angela some candy. I think I may need to buy more than one roll to get enough pictures taken to please me. I'm gonna want a pic of every one of those kids.. even the evil ones. I'm gonna miss them so much. I'd much rather work at ash st. my entire life than go to school.

I really don't wanna go back to school. I mean, usually I don't wanna go back to school, but this year more than ever. Usually I'm at least kinda looking forward to the upcoming school year by now, but I seriously don't wanna go. I was sooo ready for the school year to end when it did. High school drama was REALLY getting to me, and I couldn't wait to get away from it. I really don't wanna go back to it now. Jenny, Monica, and I hafta find a new place to hang out as soon as we get back to school. We aren't friends with the people we used to hang out with anymore, and near the end of last year we were still hanging out in the same hallway as them and being totally ignored. I'm ready to just be myself next year and be as weird as I wanna be. I don't wanna care about people talking about me behind my back. I wanna make them talk about me behind my back and feel accomplished cuz they fell into my talk-about-Laura-behind-her-back plan. Negative things always feel better when you plan for them to happen. Kinda like my being a dork and making people laugh purposely. I'm good at that kinda stuff, and by getting the reaction I want I feel like I have control of what people think of me. I wanna make myself appear more mysterious. I don't understand me, and I want other people to realize they don't understand me either. I don't want them to just think I'm a stereotypical person. I wanna make myself impossible to fit into any stereotypes. This is my plan. Wish me luck.

Today I pulled a bra outta my drawer and this pair of socks I'd never seen before in my life came out attached to it. That baffled me. I have no idea where the heck those socks came from. They were really ugly and faded too. See, I have this obsession with socks. I have tons of weird socks that I wear with different patterns on them. Like yesterday I wore my frog socks. Anything that isn't white or doesn't have some kinda pattern on it in my drawer doesn't belong there.

I think my brain has finally drawn a blank as to what to write. Oh, I thought of something. I really wish there was some way I could find out how many people read my diary entries. I mean, I know Paula and Jeremy do, but that's all. I wonder if there are like any people who read my entries every day cuz they find me interesting and I just don't know it. I doubt there is, but that would be scary. I would like have a stalker. Actually, I'd be purdy flattered if that was true. That's the weird thing about me. If anyone ever chose to stalk me, I'd probably take it as a compliment and be more flattered than scared. I mean, I know there are people who probably come across my diary and read an entry and then move on to the next diary in the member directory like I do, but I wanna know if there's anyone out there besides Paula and Jeremy who actually took the time to read more than one of my entries. If there is, I'd appreciate email from them.

All the kids in the market place say waaay oooh waay oooh way oh... walk like an egyptian! :::gets into her 80's music groove:::

Ok, I'm quite finished now. TA! ~BOB

Back To ~ The Future