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Newark Sucks I did another chapter of my history hw tonight. I've finished the entire assignment from one book, now I hafta move on to the other book: the longer assignment. Maybe the questions will be easier to find? I'm hoping... They probably won't be. I remember the teacher telling us to spell everything correctly when we were given the assignment. I've found about 3 spelling errors in the questions written by the teacher. Hypocrites suck. The more I like Jeremy, the more I realize I can't be with him. We've grown a lot closer this weekend and it's great, but at the same time it sucks. I keep racking my brain for ideas on how we could ever meet each other and nothing is realistic until college. How do I always get stuck in these situations? It seems so easy... I only wanna meet him (well, that's not all, but meeting him seems like it should be easy), but it's soo hard to do. Jenny met him, why can't I? I need to get outta this town. It's starting to bug the crap outta me. I wanna go somewhere where I can't just drive somewhere and not even think about where I need to turn cuz I know it so well. Living in the same house your entire life really tortures a person. Especially when it's such a crappy town as this one. I would never raise a family in Newark. I couldn't torture my children like that. I'd like to just go somewhere, anywhere in the one week I have between when work ends and school starts, but I don't think that's gonna happen. 1) No money, 2) No parental support. I really feel like I haven't enjoyed my summer to its fullest. Usually I go on one vacation or something (besides to Santa Cruz for a mere weekend), and I'm starting to think not doing that is really ruining me. I'm not gonna be ready for school when it starts without a get away before it, and that could ruin my gpa. I currently can't focus on a tiny lil history assignment. How am I gonna manage hw for 2 honors classes and an AP one, plus 3 more? I only have 3 weeks to figure that out. Summer isn't long enough. I drove my car through the carwash today, then I drove around this horrid town to dry it off. I love the thrill of just driving and listening to music as loud as I want it. I really think I could handle a road trip to Idaho. Too bad my parents don't feel the same way. Things my mom nagged me about today: 1) Staying online too long, 2) not doing enough hw, 3) Liking a guy in another state (Mom: "why can't you just find a guy in Newark for once?" Laura: "cuz they're all homie g funks and two skaters who are already taken."), 4) Not changing my contacts often enough, 5) Liking music she doesn't like. I love my mom. "When I look around, I think this, this is good enough, and I try to laugh at whatever life brings cuz when I look down I just miss all the good stuff, and when I look up I just trip over things." ~Ani DiFranco. I try to base my opinion on life on that quote. Whenever things are bad, I try to think of it and cheer myself up. But when things are this shitty, I kinda find that difficult. I've been slacking off on my non-swearing thing. I really wanna stop swearing for certain reasons, and then for other reasons I don't. Like when I'm trying to describe how pissed I am at somebody and I call them a "very mean person" instead of an asshole.. I kinda feel like a two year old. I think I've decided to just swear around people I can swear around and not swear around people I can't swear around. I know who appreciates it and who doesn't, and now I know I can restrain myself if need be. Ok, this has become a rather long, pessimistic entry. I must sound like quite a case. What happens when the psychiatrist needs advice? I think she just waits till it passes over cuz I know it will. Someday I'll get outta Newark. Someday I'll meet Jeremy. Someday Ani DiFranco songs will describe my existance. Someday just isn't now. Till next time.. ~BOB 0 previous comments. (This doesn't work anymore; go sign my guestbook)
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