Feeling and Looking Like Shit
February 12, 2002 - 10:21 p.m.

First, I was stressing over burning a cd for Joe, then I was stressing over burning a cd for me. Somehow I hardly got any reading done which really disappoints me cuz I've been keeping on track so well during this book. I really just put too much pressure on myself. It's not like all hell is gonna break loose if I don't keep up on my reading. Yet I still feel this overwhelming sense of guilt, and I'm all worried about catching up now that I've fallen behind, especially with dance class tomorrow and a dentist appointment on The Dreaded Day (Valentine's).

You know how somedays you feel like you look like shit and other days you just feel like you look good? Well today is a look-like-shit day. I try to keep my self esteem up, so they don't happen that often. I think that makes it worse, cuz when they happen they hit me hard and I'm just like ugh.. I'm an ugly bitch.

I wish my period would come already so I could stop worrying about my situation with giving blood next week. When did I become so stressed out??? Ugh... I can't wait for the three day weekend to come.

I wrote another, longer, happier entry earlier today. If you haven't read it, please do. I hate these pity party entries, but I suppose they're necessary every once in awhile. It's a diary, after all. What are diaries for? Writing about yourself... Ta! ~BOB

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